Cotton Armor And Lead Wings
by King512
Summary: Many things are true about Berk, the resilience of her people, able to bounce back from any physical wound. But what about the injuries that run deeper? Join Hiccup and Toothless as they journey to find themselves, making new friends, and new enemies along the way. {yaoi}{toothcup}
1. Chapter 1

[STORY CONTENT WARNINGS- Look, this is gonna be a fucked up read at times. Don't bitch at me for it. You chose to read this. I don't care if it triggers you. Violence, Death, Drugs, Sex, Suicide, and many more nefarious topics within.]

'thoughts'  
"speech"  
 _"mind speech"_

This takes place approximately 3 years after HTTYD 2.

For all intents and purposes, this shall be considered an AU after the cannon events.

Quick backstory on this piece so nothing is confusing: About 3 months prior to this story Astrid has died. Hiccup in his state of grief has asked the village to forgive him but he has to rescind his position as chief. After installing a temporary council headed by his mother. Hiccup leaves Berk to find himself and recover.

X-X-X-X

Chapter One: Teacher

X-X-X-X

Hiccup laughed into the wind as Toothless folded his wings and dived, Astrid and Stormfly followed suit. The cold air stretched her hair behind her. Hiccup was lost in the moment, watching her laugh. They neared the cliff and the two dragons slowed their descent and alighted gently on the cliff. The snow was thick and(as always) blindingly reflective. Hiccup hopped off Toothless, giving the dragon a quick pat he turned to Astrid. "So-" He never got to finish the sentence. As soon as Astrid's feet touched the snow it shifted, the fresh layer of snow slid and swept Astrid with it. She held to the edge for only a moment before she slid off. Before Hiccup could react, both she and Stormfly went off the cliff.

"ASTRID!" Hiccup jumped onto Toothless and went to the bottom of the cliff. There Stormfly was chittering and screeching madly, hopping around a depression in the snow. Hiccup ran forward only to fall to his knees at the sight before him. Astrid lay, limp and broken atop a boulder that had barely been covered by the snow.

Hiccup jolted awake, a sickening pain in his chest. He curled into a ball and his choked sobs echoed through the cave. That moment was so short, mere seconds, but seemed so much longer than that, hours even.

Hiccup felt a chill run down his spine and ignored it. Shortly after Toothless, who had probably been off hunting, came into the cave and nuzzled up to Hiccup attempting to comfort his rider.

"Thanks bud." Hiccup managed to say. Toothless always calmed him down. The dragon licked Hiccup's cheek prompting a short bark of bitter laughter. Hiccup stood slowly, the ache in his chest had dulled ever so slightly. He pulled on his tunic and wrapped up his furs into tight bundles.

"I think it's high time we continue on our way, what do you think?" Hiccup hugged Toothless around his neck, giving him loving and slow scratches. The night fury wriggled and crooned, purring his approval.

Moving slowly Hiccup packed his gear and saddled Toothless. Moving arthritic old man Hiccup climbed up onto the saddle. A soft nudge was all that it took to urge Toothless into flight. It had been two months since he left Berk. Since then he had mapped out hundreds of miles of land, described 6 new species of dragon, and met several new tribes. Each island he came across was full of new wonders and dangers.

This time he moved Toothless to head westward and see what could be found, after several hours of flying the duo grew anxious. They were too far from the last island to fly back. If Hiccup knew anything about his friend, his dragon, the scaled beast had another two hours at best. He patted the lagging dragon reassuringly. "You can do it bud. Take us high and lets see what there is."

As they rose above the clouds into the biting cold Hiccup saw landmass was far greater than any he'd encountered prior. Toothless was seemingly revitalized by this and with a burst of speed the reached shore in mere minutes. Finding a thick mass of trees in the forests Hiccup and Toothless descended. The floor of the forest was coated in a soft spongy moss. With almost no thought or hesitation the exhausted duo fell into sleep, Hiccup curled against the warm body of his dragon.

Hiccup could tell he was being poked. "Toothless, let me sleep." He groaned, opening his eyes slightly. A dark skinned man stood over him, his mostly black hair in a single long braid. Hiccup was poked again.

"BY ODIN'S BEARD." Hiccup exclaimed he backed up and bumped into Toothless, the dragon awoke with a snarl and quickly assessed the situation. Toothless readied himself to pounce when suddenly another dragon strode gracefully from between the trees. It was long and a dark mottled green letting it blend seamlessly with the woods. Its wings folded tight on its back. To describe its mannerisms as regal would do it no justice, it moved as though every stone in the land ought tremble by its feet. With a simple look from the other dragon Toothless relaxed slightly, still wary on the chance things may run afoul.

Hiccup looked suspiciously at the man before him. He was in his 40s, gray hair gracing his temples and streaking his braid. Shirtless with only a simple pair of breeches with thin leather shoes.

"Who... Who are you?" Hiccup asked.

"I... Ayun of Willows. My talk in you language is... Much bad. I prefer talk dragon."

Hiccup looked at the old man with a curious expression. "But dragons can't talk."

Suddenly a voice slammed into his head like a warhammer. He doubled over in pain, he couldn't make heads or tails of what he heard for the first few seconds, then it clicked and he instantly understood its meaning. _"Yes we can, stupid boy."_

After his head stopped ringing he looked over to the other dragon. It glared at him, disdain obvious in its gaze."How did you do that?"

The dragon spoke his head again, this time easier than the last. _"Dragons and humans share a similarity in our minds that allows this. It normally takes some time for humans to be able to use it, but your ignorance was infuriating to me. So I taught you a lesson and broke in by force. Also, you will feel the side effects soon_." Hiccup opened his mouth to reply only to be hit by a wave of dizziness. After fighting it momentarily he collapsed and the world went black.

Hiccup awoke to someone saying his name over and over again. "Ugh, okay I'm awake, how long was I out?"

 _"2 hours 27 minutes and thirteen seconds"_

Out of his periphery Hiccup saw Toothless wriggle and preen pridefully.

"Wait a second. Toothless?!"

" _Yes!"_ Toothless pounced on Hiccup and licked him repeatedly. And then, for whatever reason, Hiccup laughed, it was his first true laugh in months. "Okay okay! Get off me Toothless."

Hiccup stood and his mind was met by a new voice, unmistakably Ayun, now that the initial shock had passed, he noticed it was like sweet honey and a warm fire. The language was foreign to Hiccup but somehow it translated. " _Follow Kei-"_ The voice paused for a moment. _"...Toothless to me. And we shall speak, the moon and fire predicted your coming long ago. I have many things to tell you."_

Hiccup obliged cautiously, his bags did not appear tampered with so if necessary he had his sword. The sound of running water filled the air more and more the further Hiccup ventured. Eventually Toothless lead him to a clearing with a small waterfall within.

Toothless curled up and Hiccup went to speak to Ayun. "So Ayun-"

 _"Use dragon speech, your language is hard for me."_ Ayun said in Hiccup's mind. He handed Hiccup a small wooden bowl filled with a greenish cream. " _Sit, sit, it is rude to stand in polite conversation."  
_  
Hiccup sat down on a bare patch of earth and thought for a while. Before finally asking: "How?"

 _"You must envision that you are reaching out to me, eventually you will feel as though you have been thrown into ice cold water. Then, I should be able to hear you when you let me."_ Ayun paused and looked at the dragon curled up behind him. " _But before that, my friend has made a good point, drink. I shall wait."_

Hiccup looked at the bowl in hand cautiously, after a few seconds he brought it up to his mouth and took a sip. A sudden warmth spread through him and his hunger came full force, without thinking Hiccup gulped the rest down. The flavor was sweet and minty followed by a strong salty finish that stuck to his tongue like cheese. Hiccup looked down at the empty bowl with remorse.  
 _  
"I shall tell you what that is, if you can successfully talk to me mind to mind."_ Ayun said.

Hiccup sat and focused, as he did the world seemed to go still. What seemed like hours passed and sweat poured down his face. Until suddenly he felt as though he had fallen into the waters in Berk. Goosebumps ran up his whole body and he shivered, the sensation completely alien to him _. "H-hello?"_

"Good, good, it took you longer than I thought it would, but still less time than average."

Hiccup felt Ayuns voice with a new depth, the background language was dissolved and it was as though there had never been language, ideas could flow freely between them. " _Is this how dragons speak?"_ Hiccup asked in disbelief.

Ayun smiled, looking at Hiccup's face, he was in awe like a young child that had just gotten a new toy. _"It is how all things once spoke. Until a man got greedy and stole the language from many. Only we humans and dragons can still use it. And even so, humans have become cut off from it. We must force it at first, while to dragons it is as natural as breathing."_

Hiccup reached out to where he knew Toothless was, this time it was easier and he found Toothless in only a few short seconds. _"So this is what you're used to?_ " Toothless startled awake before hopping over to and nuzzling his head under Hiccup's arm. One big green eye met Hiccups.  
 _  
"This is what all dragons are used to._ " He answered.  
 _  
"So the fool actually can learn."_

Hiccup recognized the dry apathetic voice as the dragon who had spoke to him earlier. This time there was no icy waters, only a chill. Deciding to ignore the previous comment he asked, " _What is your name?"_

"I am Frian'trana you may call me 'Free'. But more importantly, ask your friend his name."

A moment of realization passed over Hiccup. He reached out to what he knew as Toothless' mind. " _What is your actual name?"_

Toothless Swelled up with pride. _"It's Keist but I like Toothless, I have grown used to it, and I'd like you to continue using it."_

"O-okay…"

"Though Moon and Fire predicted your coming, Rock and Water have more interest in you."

Ayun began.

Hiccup furrowed his brow. _"What do you mean by 'Moon and Fire' and 'Rock and Water'?"_

Ayun smiled soft wrinkles creasing his face but giving no hint to his age. _"There are voices older than the gods if you know how to listen. And believe me, child, I know how to listen."_

"Can you teach me how?"

Ayun's laughter rang out like bells in the clearing. _"We most definitely do not have time for such a tedious process."_

"Alright then... What was in the bowl?"

X-X-X-X

Authors note- Some more edits and such


	2. Chapter 2

Humanity And The Cost Of Living.

X-X-X-X

Hiccup woke up slowly, the moss he slept on was spongy as always. Dawn was just beginning to break, it had been a fortnight since dragon and rider came to this land. Ayun and Free were the only other sentient beings he'd encountered. Ayun said he enjoyed the company after so long as a recluse.

Daily life had come to a comfortable routine. He and Toothless often went flying together, having long conversations with one another. Toothless had revealed himself as only two short years older than Hiccup. He also came to enjoy meditation with Ayun. It was an odd thing at first, it took some time to get used to it, but he found the process beneficial and calming to his mind.

Free had gradually come to speak to Hiccup beyond the bare necessities and the occasional insult, even paying him a compliment on his improvement with his speech. He'd even gotten the regal dragon to allow him to inspect him closer, adding him to the many species he'd discovered along his way. Free had been given the option to pick the name; Forest Wraith, on account of how his mottled scales allowed him to seamlessly fuse with the forest.

Stretching wide Hiccup yawned and sat up. He shivered as the cool morning air met his skin, his smallclothes and undershirt did little to insulate from the chill. Toothless lay nearby, still sleeping. Hiccup smiled gently, his eyes strangely vacant, but content.

Standing up he dressed solely in his tunic and pants, it would soon warm up anyway. Pulling a bit of parchment from his pack he wrote a few words for toothless. And so he went for a walk, no particular destination in mind.

After several hours of walking Hiccup paused and sat, the forest seemed to extend forever. He relaxed for an hour. Hunger was beginning to show itself, but it was a negligible feeling. As he sat back his hand brushed against something. Fumbling for a moment he picked it up and found a small flint knife in his hands. The men of Berk of course had neglected stone tools generations prior, but there were still a few antiques and ceremonial pieces here and there. Gobber had one in the forge, a reminder of where his craft had come from. Tucking it in his pocket Hiccup continued on his way.

As he walked Hiccup noticed the land was at a slope, it was gradual, but ever so slowly he climbed higher.

Another hour passed and he grew hungrier and the sun began to fall. Eventually he came to a clearing and realized where he was. This was a ravine he and Toothless had flown over. There was a deep flowing river at the bottom, filled with icy water. Subconsciously he had walked here. He sat down and enjoyed the sunset. Slowly the wind picked up as the sun truly left the horizon. The cold crept into the air, sending shivers up and down Hiccup's body. But still he sat in the open. By now he had dug up a small edible root Ayun had showed him. Gnawing on it wasn't much, but it dulled the hunger slightly. As the night progressed he began to cry softly. He was homesick and his heart still hurt with each beat. But he knew he couldn't go back to Berk, not now, maybe not ever.

Using the knife he carved Astrid's face in the bark of a birch, surprisingly it turned out well. She was smiling in his carving. Smiling like at the cliff in Berk.

"Gods be damned!" He shouted into the night air. "Why her." Huddling his legs close he cried once more. The first couple times he had wandered off Toothless invariably followed, note or not. Now, he had done it so many times Toothless let him have his privacy. But now more than ever he could use the company. Shivering and cold he sat until the sun peeked itself out over the horizon.

A solitary ray fell on him and the etching of Astrid. Suddenly, as if by an outside force, Hiccup stood. His muscles were stiff and his eyes red. Shuffling forward like a man struck by the blight of his great great grandfather's era. He stood staring over the ravine. Moving slowly, he brought the knife midway up his forearm dragging it down slowly the uneven edge tore rather than cut his arm. He saw it as though it wasn't happening, impassively he stood as blood poured down his arm. He switched hands and, much more shakily, slid the edge down his other arm. Already he felt light-headed. Leaning forward he toppled limply into the ravine, smiling on his way down. Berk was with a competent lead. And Toothless had someone Hiccup felt comfortable with leaving him to. He hit the water and the icy cold knocked the air from his lungs. From there was only darkness.

X-X-X-X

Toothless woke as the sun crept through the trees. With a catlike motion he stretched his wings arcing out and in. He looked over to see Hiccup had not returned. Hiccup was always back by the next morning when he went for one of his walks.

Sudden worry came over him. Without hesitation he followed the day old scent Hiccup had left. Taking to the air to catch up. In mere minutes he covered the same distance Hiccup covered in hours. Suddenly he smelt blood. His eyes widened and with a roar he sped up as fast as his fixed tail flap allowed. He came upon a clearing he had flown over many times, Hiccups scent ended there. Toothless landed heavily and began to sniff around frantically. He came upon the fresh splatters of crimson at the edge of the cliff and realized what had happened. He lept into the ravine hoping and praying to any gods he could think of, dragons had no concept of gods but if anything could help, there was no sense in turning on it.

Hours seemed to pass as he followed the river. Every second stretching to an unbearable length. Suddenly he spotted something white along the gray of the river banks. He bolted down to find Hiccup. His lips were blue and his arms ragged, the bleeding having stopped from the cold waters. But somehow he was still breathing, if only slightly. Gingerly Toothless scooped up Hiccup and raced back to where he knew Ayun slept. His roar was followed by a scream to anyone that could feel his mind. " _Help me!"_ Spotting a wisp of smoke from the forest he dived pulling Hiccup close and letting his body cushion the impact of nearly two tons of dragon slamming into the forest floor. Ayun was quick to appear.

 _"What has happened!?"_

 _"I don't know! Just help!"_

Ayun looked down at Hiccup. _"There's not much I can do, but I will try. After that it's all up to him. He has to have some will to live or anything I do will not help."_

 _"Do what you can!"_

X-X-X-X

Toothless waited until Ayun called him. He bolted forward and looked at Hiccup, his breathing was ragged and a small amount of color had returned to him. Cloth harvested from one of his shirts bandaged the wounds and a thick green paste showed on the edges _. "What now?"_ Toothless asked.

" _Now we wait. He has to be kept warm. I have to leave for some time, so I will leave that to you."  
_  
Free stalked out of the woods, his wings lay to his sides, an ornate saddle nestled behind them. His tail lashed side to side and his royal purple eyes were narrowed to slits. Making his voice out to Toothless as well he spoke with a quiet seriousness. " _We are already late Ayun. There is a storm approaching and I want to be in the air before it reaches us."  
_  
Ayun replied in turn. _"Yes yes, let us leave."_ He turned to Toothless. _I" wish you luck, if you are gone when I return, know that I always will allow your return. Farewell for now."_

Hopping into the saddle Ayun and Free departed with no time for questions. Toothless looked down at Hiccup and curled around him.

X-X-X-X

AN: I'm much happier with this chapter now. Still could use work but whatever.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Entropy

X-X-X-X

Days past while Toothless refused to leave Hiccups side. Keeping him warm with his own body heat at night. Soon days turned to weeks blurring into each other. And Toothless was forced to leave Hiccup to drink, and to try and get whatever water he could into his friend. Both were slowly but undeniably getting thinner with each day.

As the sun crept into the horizon, twenty two days after Toothless had found his rider a groan escaped the viking, startling Toothless from his sleep. Toothless looked at Hiccup, his ears perked up. Hiccup moved weakly and his eyes cracked open. "Am I in Hel? It's so cold."

" _Hiccup you're awake!"_

"Toothless?" Hiccup asked. "Are you dead too?"

Toothless suddenly snapped. " _No! And you're damned lucky not to be. How dare you do this to me. I can't live without you, you stupid... Stupid... Piece of gronckle scat! It's been torment waiting for you to wake!"_ He panted and glared at Hiccup, rage and hurt flashing in his eyes.

"And? Why should you care?" He laid back and stared up at the dragon.

Toothless was bordering on biting Hiccup to teach him a lesson the only thing stopping him was Hiccups frail state. His tail whipped back and forth.

" _You have no right to speak that way._ " Toothless stood up from Hiccup " _Now you will stay here. Or else."_ He, turned to leave. " _We both need to eat."_

Hiccup lay where he was, managing to extract a fur from his pack to fend off the cold. He was partially angry at Toothless, but more than anything he felt guilty, he could see the pain in Toothless' eyes.

In a short while Toothless returned with a few fish in his mouth. He set on off to the side and lit the wood Ayun had left with a burst of flame. Hiccup found a flat rock nearby and managed to use what little energy he had to put it besides the fire. The fish Toothless had brought him barely fit onto the rock, but it would bake in the heat of the fire. Shortly after using a stick to slide the stone towards him and out of the fire. He tore at the fish, his hunger was suddenly ravenous.

"How long was I... You know..."

" _Half dead? Three weeks. And neither of us got to eat in that whole time_." Toothless and Hiccup sat in silence.

"I...I'm sorry..."

"Do me a favor Hiccup." Toothless said, not so toothless at the time. "Shut up and leave me be. I'm done worrying and now I'm just angry."

Hours passed with Toothless sulking and stalking around angrily, occasionally throwing an irritated glance at Hiccup. Meanwhile Hiccup just sat, staring idly at the ground, poking at interesting pieces of dirt with a small stick. The afternoon gave way to the bright oranges and yellows of the evening, and soon, as with all days, twilight set in and the stars began to show in an ever darkening sky.

Hiccup turned his head to face the twinkling guests. "You know," He began quietly, speaking to the air and himself more than anything. "Dad told me that the stars are our ancestors in Valhalla and Folkvang. That's why they're uncountable, new ones are added all the time."

He heaved a sigh. "But Ayun told me they are worlds that weren't chosen by the gods to be part of Yggdrasil so they drift alone and cold in the heavens. How lonely an existence that must be, knowing there are others, but forever unable to reach them."

He looked back down, the strain to look up was too much. "But that makes me think, when I look up to see Dad and…" He paused once more. "Am I looking at nothing? Are we truly alone when we need someone the most?" His voice quavered, wandering on the edge of grief. He opened his mouth to say more, only to be silenced when Toothless nuzzled up to him.

X-X-X-X

AN:I took this part and expanded on it slightly. He's lost and broken, his mind finally snapped when he jumped. It's a rocky road ahead, but he will grow from this.

I am still searching for a job, so I will try to pump out these updated and cleaned up chapters as fast as I can. I cannot guaruntee anything once I get a new job(other than the fact it will be nice to eat more than once a day)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Move Along

X-X-X-X

A tense silence permeated the forest. Not even the birds dare chirp, and the wind geld still in this reverent moment.

Hiccup stood, poised and ready in the center of the clearing. A thin line of smoke lazily flowed from the embers of that mornings fire. His arms were covered by cloth hiding the ugly scars beneath. A sheen of sweat covered him, his breaths came heavy in the morning air. Every sense that he had was set at high alert. From his periphery he saw movement, turning on a dime he narrowly skirted the night furys attack.

Hiccup faced his attacker. Once more it pounced, waiting til the last possible second he leapt to the side and struck out with his left foot, the dragon's jaws clacked together with the force, earning a bitter snarl as Hiccup set back down into a crouch. They stared at one another for some time before the human lunged forward, taut muscles rippling as he darted in and quickly pressed the dragons soft spot, the black beast crumpled at the touch.

Hiccup flopped to the ground panting and suddenly started laughing. "Eight to six, Toothless, I win today." A few minutes later an equally exhausted Toothless lumbered over and flopped beside Hiccup.

 _"It's only cause you hit my pressure point."_ Toothless grumbled.

"Oh hush, I got you without it the first time."

Toothless growled and turned his head away.

Hiccup smirked. They had been training like this since Hiccup had healed. Toothless hadn't let Hiccup out of his sight the whole time. To pass the time they sparred, at first Hiccup always lost. But slowly they came to be on equal grounds. Trading victories day by day. The general rule was if one won twice in a row, that was the end. Each day their bouts came to be longer and longer. Both of them were coming into peak physical condition.

"So what do you think Ayun is doing?" Hiccup mused.

 _"I'm not sure, he simply said he had to leave, he never gave his reason. Once he was done with..._ " An awkward pause stopped the conversation. The events of the last few weeks had become a taboo between them, always ending in hot words and hurt feelings.

Hiccup was desperate to fill the silence, "I know..."

 _"...Yeah. After that he just left. He said he'd be back eventually."_

The silence between them stretched for what seemed an eternity.

"I'm ready to leave. He was a good guy, but I think it's time we continue on our way."

Toothless looked at Hiccup. " _You sure?"_

"About as sure that you're not a sheep."

Toothless grinned his usual namesake grin. " _Baaa_."

X-X-X-X

It wasn't long before they were packed up and ready to go.

The last embers of the fire had died out and the sun shone down through a cloudless sky.

"A perfect day for flying, right bud?"

Toothless needed no urging to shoot up into the sky. Climbing rapidly above the trees they were soon on their way. Heading further to the east and north the duo made no effort for speed, enjoying a leisurely pace and the occasional bit of showmanship. As the day went on the forest went with it. Seeming to stretch forever in all directions. Here and there were abnormalities, a clearing, a small lake, a small stream. But otherwise it was a seamless mass of green.

However, in the distance a mountain range was making itself visible. "Do ya wanna go for it Toothless?"

" _Why not?"_ Toothless sped up slightly, the trees began to blur beneath them. Every minute they drew closer to the mountains, and Hiccup was beginning to grasp their obscene size. These were taller than anything he had ever imagined. The trees came far up the slopes and coursed through the valleys.

Hiccup gazed in awe, and Toothless found it hard to ignore the majesty around them. They flew through the mountains in silence, just staring. It was this silence that saved them. Toothless' ears twitched and he suddenly rolled to the side while a blast of flame shot by him. Hiccup adjusted his foot and the two whipped around to face their attacker.

In the air across from them an entirely new dragon hovered. Neither Toothless or Hiccup had ever seen one like it. Its head was wide and long, filled with straight razor sharp teeth, from there it's spined neck reached back onto a wide torso with massive wings keeping it aloft. Its forelegs held foot long claws that looked ready to disembowel a jotun. Its tail had a set of six wickedly sharp spikes placed flat and on each side. This dragon was a flying weapon. Its head reared back as flame began to fill its throat. Toothless dodged the bolt with ease, but it still didn't offset the danger. Recognizing that breathing fire would do it no good the dragon charged, and Hiccup and Toothless fled, neither one wanted to needlessly harm the other dragon.

As fast as Toothless flew the dragon behind them seemed to have no trouble keeping pace. "Toothless! I have a plan!" Hiccup yelled over the wind.

Reaching out Hiccup hoped he could talk to the dragon. If nothing else hopefully the contact would throw it off. It took some work to focus enough to find it, but when he did he was slammed by a whirlwind of emotion. There was no talking, for whatever reason the only thoughts going through their pursuers mind were of hatred. "Plan B Toothless, you take the lead!"

Toothless understood Hiccups meaning and whipped around. His advantage over the other dragon was the speed his fire moved. The other dragon had no chance, it caught the bolts impact in its shoulder and with a dismayed roar fell to the valley floor. Toothless was fast to fly away. Hiccup looked back. "We should leave these mountains."

Toothless took a while to answer. " _We're lost. These mountains are a maze and the sun is setting."_

"What do you mean we're lost?"

" _I mean I don't have a clue where we are_." Toothless looked around. " _Everything looks the same."_

"Let's find somewhere to sleep then."

They flew along for sometime, it was Toothless who spotted it. A shallow cave in the mountain.

"Im overjoyed. Cave sweet cave, stone is such a nice change." Sarcasm poured from Hiccup.

" _Oh deal with it. It's better than sleeping in the open and waiting for the angry one to find us."_

"You've got a point there."

They descended into the cave rapidly, hoping no one dragon or otherwise saw them. Hiccup hopped off Toothless and stretched. Sitting hunched in the saddle for hours made for some stiff muscles. Hiccup walked outside the cave. It was high time he had some personal time to answer a call of nature. "Toothless I'll be right back."

" _You've got ten minutes."_ Toothless began to explore the cave, looking for anything interesting on the ground

The cave floor was bare. Not even dusty. Just smooth rock Toothless couldn't help but be curious as to how it was formed. He'd been in hundreds of caves and none of them were like this one. But for now, he curled up and waited.

Hiccup was quick to return he had a bundle of wood in his arms which he promptly dropped to the ground. He unbuckled the saddle from Toothless, letting him relax from the weight. The sun shone into one half of the cave before slowly being cut off by the mountains. Hiccup used the fading light to get a little more wood. Working for a few moments in one corner of the cave he made a dense tangle out of the branches and sticks. Toothless stalked over and with a small jet of flame ignited the fire.

There the two sat, watching the fire slowly eat away at the branches, every so often Hiccup added some to the fire. Eventually sleep tugged at their eyelids. Hiccup grabbed his furs and laid out in the corner. Toothless curled up a few feet away.

As the fire died to coals Hiccup fiddled with it once more to keep it burning longer. "Night Toothless." He said, Toothless' response was lost as sleep pulled him under.

X-X-X-X

Hiccup awoke suddenly.

The night was black and moonless, but a deeper darkness pervaded and blocked out the night. He felt suffocated. His limbs felt leaden. A voice, like his own but not, broke the silence. "Why are you here?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm you. Why are you here?" the darkness solidified into an emaciated legless wisp.

"You aren't me!" Hiccup looked to Toothless.

"It's no use, he can't hear you right now. Why are you here?"

"What in the name of all the gods are you talking about!?"

"I mean what I say. I am you, I am the real you. I want to know why. Are. You. Here?"

"I don't know!" Hiccup yelled. He looked over and Toothless didn't even stir. "I don't know why I'm here damnit!" He slammed his fists to the ground. "All I know is Toothless saved me!"

"Saved you? That's an interesting take." The figure moved closer and caressed Hiccup's cheek, it was cold like ice but somehow, it wasn't there at all. "I thought you wanted to die? All I see is that the selfish lizard stole your dignity. Look at you, forced to live with scars. Forced to know that no matter what-"

"Don't you dare say her name."

"Aaastriiid." A sick chuckle left the spectre "No matter what Astrid is gone and it's all. Your. Fault."

"Shut up!"

"I'm just telling the truth. We both know it. Besides, I'm the only one you can trust. Toothless didn't save you because you're his friend." The being floated around Hiccup. "Toothless saved you because he needs you. He can't fly without you, but otherwise, he doesn't, even, care."

"You're wrong!"

"He's an animal! A beast that can talk is still a beast!"

Hiccup suddenly dug his hands into the faintly glowing coals and flung them at the wisp. With another distorted chuckle it vanished.

The pain lanced through him then, the coals had not been kind to his skin. Reflexively he held it to his chest and groaned.

Toothless raised his head curiously. " _Are you okay?"_ He asked.

"Just leave me alone and go back to sleep!" Hiccup snapped.

Toothless recoiled, hurt from the seemingly sourceless anger. But, with his pride in ruins Toothless stalked off to the other side of the cave and went back to sleep.

X-X-X-X

Hiccup sat at the edge of the cave, cradling his hand. The grey of morning heralded the sky splitting open and letting free a pounding rain. Hiccup just stared into the clouds.

For hours he sat pondering the conversation he had the night before. What if Toothless really was just using him? These feelings of mistrust, while new, were filled with bitterness. He had always considered Toothless as his best friend. What if the dragon only viewed him as a tool?

Soon toothless awoke and sat next to him. A comfortable silence grew between them. But nonetheless Hiccup felt compelled to break it.

Hiccup looked at Toothless. "Why did you save me?" He asked out loud.

Toothless was taken aback but the directness of the question. " _Because you're... You're my friend. And... I care about you."_

"Thanks bud." In the back of Hiccup's mind the voice came back. 'You see, he lies, it's as plain as day.' Hiccup looked back into the rain. He knew, Toothless had lied about something. Now Hiccup needed to catch him in that lie.

X-X-X-X

AN:It seems Ill never be happy with this chapter


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